by Angel Evans
In Flowers For Vases / Descansos, Hayley Williams unveils the depths of her soul and fearlessly takes steps toward inner healing. This 14-track album shattered my heart and somehow magically put it back together again. I found myself playing it on rotation because listening to it once wasn’t enough. With tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat, I sat in silence as I dove into the mind of Ms. Williams. Closing my eyes, I visualized the entire album and allowed Hayley to tell me the story of her life. Every minute of Flowers For Vases / Descansos left me in an everlasting trance. The sound of her voice sent endless shockwaves throughout my body and her raw honesty made my soul weep endless tears.
This album comes from such a vulnerable place. One thing about Hayley, she’s never been shy about expressing herself through her music. However, this album just feels unbelievably different. Flowers For Vases / Descansos was recorded within the four walls of her home. In the midst of quarantine and the prolonged solitude away from civilization, she allowed herself to take a deep look within and shed layers of immense grief, loss, and heartache.
SOME OF MY FAVORITES
First Thing To Go: Letting go of someone you’ve loved feels like a dagger to the heart. When the connection is strong, it feels like you've lost a piece of yourself. With letting go, you have to come to terms with them not being around anymore. As time goes by, little things begin to escape your memory. In First Thing To Go, Hayley mentions how the sound of her ex’s voice was the first thing to vanish.
“And I'm scared to lose
What's left of you
And I should forget
But I love what's left”
We tend to hold onto memories and dwell on the past. Once in a while, we fall for an ‘illusion’ due to being blinded by love. The grieving period of any relationship can make time standstill. Especially when you’re left with fading memories and the ache of it all slipping through your fingers. Beginning with First Thing To Go set the tone for the entirety of the album.
Inordinary: In this nostalgic track, Hayley reflects on the moments that changed her life. The memories and defining events that led her to become the woman she is today.
Life began in seventh grade
When me and mama got away
Came home from school one afternoon
She was waiting in the car for me
She said, "Don't worry"
Starting over in Tennessee changed the whole trajectory of their lives. Hayley and her mother were given a second chance to be free. While getting comfortable and making Tennessee their new home, the universe guided her to some brand new friends. Fate led them to form a band millions cherish and adore, Paramore. Personally, I don’t know where I’d be today if it wasn’t for Paramore [They’ve been a part of my life since I was in the 4th grade]. After remembering days of the past, Hayley expressed how you can find happiness in the little things. Inordinary is such a meaningful song, and it has caused me to reflect on my own life journey.
HYD: I can’t get over how much I adore the beginning of the song. You hear a raw recording of Hayley singing the first verse. Suddenly, a plane begins to fly over her home, and it briefly stalls the recording process. Hearing Hayley express her distaste by saying “Are you fucking kidding me?” while lightly chuckling made me smile. HYD is a bittersweet acoustic ballad that perfectly describes what it’s like to wonder how your former love is going. When two people go their separate ways, it’s normal to ponder on where life has taken them. If they’ve beaten addictions or even if they’re happy.
Descansos: Oh…. oh, descansos. This track in particular did a number on me. It’s a song that possesses no words, yet it speaks volumes. The song begins with a somber guitar riff and it flows seamlessly as Hayley William's fingers begin to dance along with the piano keys. As the song progresses, you begin to hear the sound of a young child. This part broke me and opened the floodgates. I could feel the “inner child” inside of me awakening and I began to reminisce on my childhood. This song caused my life to flash before my eyes, and I felt emotions that I didn’t even know were suppressed. In the end, I began to feel a weight lift off of my shoulders. I felt the shift of one door closing, and another one opening. A rebirth.
Just A Lover: Just A Lover is the final track on Flowers For Vases / Descansos. The waterworks continued to flow as Descansos transitioned into Just A Lover. The majority of this album consisted mainly of guitar, vocals, and piano. However, Hayley surprised us all with some thunderous drum beats. I cannot stress this enough, this was the perfect way to conclude such a flawless record. Every single minute of this song is divine. One night, I decided to sit in my car and listen to this song on repeat. I wanted to fully grasp what this song had to offer. To this day, I don’t regret it whatsoever. I sang along with Hayley and felt an overwhelming emotion rush in like a tidal wave.
“Space and time, waking hours before I open my eyes
In the morning, I feel my heart crack open, one last chorus
Space and time, waking hours before I open my eyes
In the morning, I feel my heart crack open, one last chorus
I'll be singing into empty glasses
No more music for the masses
One more hour, one more ugly, stillborn cry
I know exactly what this is
Or whatever it was, or whatever it was.”
I'll never get over how transparent Hayley William's lyrics are. Hayley articulates her feelings in such a profound way. She never fails to authentically express how she's feeling deep down inside. The power in her voice sends me to my knees and makes me tremble. There’s no doubt that Hayley has been through hell and back. However, she arises from every trial and tribulation stronger than ever before. Flowers For Vases / Descansos is further proof of that.
Keep doing your thing, Hayley. We love you.
